Walking around with a smiling face

Although darkness has filled my space

Thoughts running heavy and wild

Much hurt and pain has piled

Trying to tell myself that it’s okay

But depression has filled my day

Hoping someone will help me

How can they if they don’t see

Sometimes laughing so I won’t cry

Wanting to lay down and die

My heart heavy with pain

Living with drops of so much rain

Not showing what’s on the inside

But wanting to run and hide

I wear my smile like a cover

Don’t want anyone to discover

I got a secret that I can’t tell

Walking around under this spell

People think I am happy and well

Truth is, I feel like I’m in hell

So many thoughts in my mind

That I’m tangled up and twined

Who do I tell, who do I run to

For these thoughts are sticking like glue

Wanting to get help, I surely do

But can anybody help pull me through

A part of me says tell my family

But I don’t want them dealing with my agony

There’s that part of me that has shame

So, I walk around with my inside in flame

The heat is turned up and hot

My mind say death is my only shot

My inside is full of decay

The grave is calling me to lay

The darkness robs me each day

My depression has come to stay

I don’t know which direction to run

So, I’m thinking about a gun

Holding on to much doubt

I’ll just allow the trigger to take me out

Suicide is calling my name

Realizing my life is not the same

I’ve tried, I’ve cried, my inside is dried

Now my response is to choose suicide

written by: Shemika Banes


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